If there's a single feeling I took home from the Grand Canyon, it's this: silence. For 25 days the cacophony of the modern world was irrelevant - no cell phone, no internet, no news, and only the river and the company of 15 wonderful humans to occupy my mind. When I had free time, I would just sit and look at the world around me. A world of rock and sunlight, of water and the signs of water.
For those 25 glorious days we rose with the sun, spent most of the day in light but continuous exercise moving to the next camp or exploring side canyons, enjoyed dinner and some social time, and then went to bed as darkness fell.
If I woke in the night, I would see familiar stars above me and then go back to sleep rocked by the cradle of the water beneath the raft. Each night we camped in a new place but I never felt the dislocation that's natural when sleeping in hotels or couch-surfing.
When we met another group, we greeted them as friends and fellow travelers - cheering them on, exchanging plans, and even sharing supplies if necessary. For most of the time we saw no one except ravens and canyon wrens.
The experience was of a small tribe moving through the wilds under our own power and without outside support. An illusion naturally, since all of our gear and food had been carefully prepared for us by an outfitter. But for all of my skepticism about evolutionary psychology, this tribal situation felt absolutely and completely right for my mind and my body.
Sadly I spent the first half of the trip carrying the stress of my previous life with me - a world in which one's best effort is never enough. Eventually I came to hear the message of my tribe: relax and enjoy. Take each day as it comes. Lead or follow as appropriate. Forgive.
I'm back in the "real world" again but I feel like a stone skipping over the surface of a pond. I look normal, I act normal, but inside I struggle against assimilation. As the experience fades into memory, I'm scared that the lessons will slip away before I can integrate them into my life. But perhaps that's still the old Marc talking.
If you’d like to join me on my next Grand Canyon trip, get in touch! I’m already working on getting a permit for next time.
Finally relaxed on day 24. Photo courtesy Aurora Roth (auroraroth.com)